So I promised last night that I would clarify why I’m calling Neil my husband but also talking about planning our wedding for next month.
We were officially married in July at the courthouse because it had been 4 years since I’d had health insurance. Our celebration/ceremony/reception is still set for October. In July it was only the two of us; next month we will be able to share it with all of our friends and family.
It was Neil’s idea to get legally married early. He first brought up the idea months ago but I shot him down because I was worried about what other people would think (so silly). He brought it up again in June and as I mentioned in a previous post, my new found ability to be open-minded and consider other people’s ideas allowed me to listen to his reasoning and not immediately tell him no.
I made a pros and cons list because I wanted to make sure that I was making the right decision for me and not anyone else. I have a habit of people pleasing (sometimes to my detriment), so I wanted to make sure I did this right.
What I realized when I looked at my list was that all my cons were questions and all my pros were statements. The cons were all based on emotion and the pros were practical. My cons also revolved around what everyone else would think.
What if our families are mad that we do it early?
What anniversary date do we celebrate?
Do we tell people or not tell people?
Is it ok???
Yes, that last one was an actual question I wrote down. Like there was some kind of established wedding no-no list that I could not go against. My pros made logical sense:
I will have health insurance!
We can get cheaper car insurance!
We are getting married anyway just 3 months after that.
I can make Neil get me presents for 2 anniversaries! 🙂
Ok I added that last one to make you laugh (but maybe…). I also talked to a lot of people who are married to get their take on it. Everyone told me the same thing: it makes sense and it is our wedding. I also had some health concerns that I had shoved on the back burner because I didn’t have insurance and didn’t know what to expect financially if something ended up being wrong.
After taking all this information and stewing with it, I decided that it was silly of us to not get married before October. Once I stopping thinking about what others would think and thought about what I wanted, I realized that I wanted to marry my best friend as soon as possible. Also, forgoing my health for the sake of other people’s perception of me was absurd.
We decided to tell people what we were doing since we are not about keeping secrets from people, especially those we care the most about. Surprisingly (or not), everyone thought it was a great idea and the more people I talked to, the more I found out that this is becoming more commonplace. Everyone was very supportive and I want to thank them for that!
We got married on July 17th, which was also the anniversary that we started dating (easy to remember!). We are waiting to exchange rings and for me to change my name until October so that there still feels like some differentiation between the dates. I do feel like we are married, but I think next month will help solidify that since all we have right now is a piece of paper.
I am happy to report that I have made all the doctor’s appointments that I needed and I am 100% healthy (dermatologist from this morning says no skin cancer!). In addition to the peace of mind that I got after 4 years of wondering what if about my health, I can also call my best friend my husband. What else could I ask for?